The Pederson Effect: Finding My Light After Years of Feeling Silenced

I don’t share a lot about my personal life, but I wanted to be real, up front, and honest here.

So first, hi and welcome to The Pederson Effect.

My name is M. Pederson.

For many years, I felt silenced. Stuck in a dark place. Lost. No direction. No purpose.

I wrote a lot during those years. I guess that’s where I slowly crafted my real skill: writing. My writing has always been… a bit messy. I’m known for run-on sentences, spelling errors, and chaos on the page. But my words are real, raw, and unapologetic. They come from a heart that has dealt with a lot of pain from life’s chaotic mess.

Failed relationships that felt so right but still ended.

Losing people—friends, loved ones, pets.

Living with health issues that limit me.

Chronic pain.

Mental health struggles.

I am a survivor of many things.

I’m not saying I’m an expert, or a doctor, or a therapist, because I’m none of those. I’m just a survivor on a healing journey, trying to find my way out of the dark. I’m learning to manage, to cope, to build better outlets—positive ones instead of negative ones.

Healing is a journey where you fall on your face a lot.

I’ve fallen plenty.

Drowning in My Own Pain

There was a time when I honestly didn’t know how to stop drowning in my own pain and torment. A recent breakup hit me hard—harder than I expected. It hurt like hell.

In the middle of that, I had one real friend who showed up for me and is still with me today on this healing journey. She helped me find my light within. She made me feel less invisible. She gave me advice when I was hurting and gave me the mantra I live by now.

Her words will forever be etched into me:

“You’re not alone. You matter.”

Without her being that positive voice, I’d probably still be hiding, wading in the deep end, searching for a light in the darkness and fighting with all the old negative words in my head:

“You’re not enough.”

“You’re the problem.”

“You’re to blame.”

“It’s all my fault.”

For so long, I believed those lies. But the truth is, it was never all me.

Yes, I have my faults, flaws, and imperfections. I don’t claim to be perfect. But I am not the monster my pain told me I was.

Why I Started The Pederson Effect

I started The Pederson Effect because I wanted to make a difference, even if it’s a small one.

If I can reach people who have felt like me—silenced, broken, stuck in something rough—and help them feel a little less alone, then this is worth it.

I believe that within all of us, there is a light. When we find it, it guides us. It’s hard to explain, but it’s that tiny spark that whispers, “Keep going,” even when everything hurts.

There is hope.

There is beauty, even in pain.

Let me explain what I mean by “beauty.” When something bad happens to me, yes, I freak out. I’m human. But to process it, I write it down. Then I rewrite it. I turn the narrative into something a little more positive, or at least something I can hold without breaking.

It helps me grieve the situation better.

I’m not telling anyone that they have to do this. I don’t know your situation. I can only speak for mine. But for me, these things have helped.

I’m a creative person. That’s my outlet.

Where I Am Right Now

Right now, my healing journey has had a bit of a setback.

I’ve recently learned that I have Trigeminal Neuralgia, and it has affected my sight. The pain and strain make it harder to do the things I love—like writing and creating—for long stretches at a time. I’m learning how to manage it, but it means I have new limits I didn’t used to have.

I’m in the process of getting new glasses (Neurolens), which should help with the alignment and some of the pain. Until then, I’m working around the discomfort the best I can.

So if you notice that I don’t post as much as I want to, or there are quiet periods here, please know it’s not because I don’t care or I’ve given up. It’s because I’m having to learn new ways to pace myself, listen to my body, and honor my limits.

I don’t want to let my readers down. This space matters to me. You matter to me.

But right now, I also have to learn how to protect my health while still showing up in the ways I can.

Thank you for being patient with me, for reading my words, and for walking this messy, imperfect journey with me.

A Special Shout Out

To end this post, I want to give a special shoutout to my co-creator and the person who has been riding this journey with me: A. Nova.

You are a true angel in disguise.

You’ve helped me in more ways than I can count on this healing journey. I’m so glad we can learn as we go and share our pain in a positive way with the world.

Our friendship means the world to me. Words can’t fully express my gratitude for you pulling me out of the darkness when I truly needed a friend. You took time—busy or not—to listen when I was hurting, confused, or lost.

You showed me my light was always within me; I just needed to let it shine.

I hope that everything you’ve done for me, I’ve been able to give back to you in some way. I appreciate you, and I thank you, girl, for going on this incredible healing journey with me.

We’ve brought out so much creativity in each other and stepped out of our comfort zones together. I’m proud of you, and I’m proud of me.

Hugs. You’re the best.

— M. 💚

Gentle Disclaimer

I’m not a therapist, doctor, or mental health professional. Everything I share here comes from my own lived experiences, personal opinions, and what has helped me on my healing journey.

Nothing on this site is meant to be medical, mental health, or professional advice.

Please reach out to a qualified professional or trusted support in your area if you’re struggling, and contact local emergency services or a crisis line if you’re in immediate danger or feel like you might hurt yourself.

You’re not alone, and you deserve real support.